Author: Elaine M. Eshbaugh, PhD

Do you ever wonder if you did the right thing? I woke up in Memphis at a Hilton this morning. I had to catch a flight back to Iowa. The hotel employees told me that my best bet for getting a ride to the airport was to contact a guy called Mr. Jay—since Uber and […]

Why is my loved one with dementia so tired? Because dementia is exhausting. We talk about kidney failure. Heart failure. Lung failure. Although it sounds harsh, dementia is brain failure. As the brain becomes more compromised, it takes more and more energy for someone with dementia to complete tasks. I don’t mean tasks like renovating […]

The other day my husband and I had a conversation about women who pack their husbands’ suitcases. To each their own, but my husband agreed that he’d never let me (or anyone else, for that matter) pack his suitcase. He thinks I’d forget something. And I probably would. This conversation reminded me of a story […]

I know a guy who says he will kill himself if he gets dementia. His dad had it. His mom had it. He says that he refuses to put his family through that. If he starts to have dementia symptoms, he’ll end it. He knows what end-stage dementia looks like. He knows the pain of […]

Last week I asked those of you with a loved one in a nursing home during the pandemic to respond to a few questions. And you did (thank you!). I planned to write up a summary or assign meaning to your responses. I thought maybe I’d find some themes as I read through them. Then […]

Hey all! I have a request today…I am working on some blog posts about the experiences of loved ones and caregivers during the COVID-19 pandemic. If you have experiences you’d like to share, I want to you hear you. Please click on the following link to help me learn about your lived experiences: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/COVID_19_nursing_home_exp Here’s […]

I have a college student who is working as a gatekeeper. She works at a continuous care retirement community that has an assisted living, nursing home, and memory care community. She doesn’t actually work in any of these areas. She works at the front door in a large reception area featuring a bar, hair salon, […]

I don’t know who needs to hear this today, but you are not a bad person. People ask me frequently if they are bad people. I find it strange that anyone would think I had the moral authority to categorize folks as good or bad. Am I bad person because I dread visiting Mom at […]

I have a complicated relationship with living in the moment. I work hard to feel at peace with being in the present, but my brain fights me. I think about the past a lot. Something dumb I said at a meeting a few weeks back. A mistake I made in college. And I think about […]

Hey caregivers: Yes, I am talking to you. Maybe you care for a loved one with dementia at home. Or maybe they are in a nursing home or assisted living–or perhaps in their own home. Maybe they are in the early stages of dementia or maybe they are close to death. Or maybe you don’t […]