Several months ago I wrote a blog post about why I dislike the movie, The Notebook. In short, I take issue with how it presents Alzheimer’s. On an unrelated note, I think it promotes stalking as romance. You can read all about it here: https://welcometodementialand.wordpress.com/2015/03/09/my-least-favorite-dementialand-movie/ I had no idea the Facebook messages and emails I would get after this […]
Tag: aging
Praying for the End in Dementialand
I was 23 when my grandpa passed away. He had a lot of chronic health conditions, including diabetes, and he’d recently had a leg amputated. The last time I saw him in person, he kept calling the guy I was dating at the time “Steve” (although his name was not Steve) and he was very grateful […]
Passion in Dementialand (A Post About What Gets Us Excited)
A little passion goes a long way. I’m not talking about relationships here. I’m talking about life. No one has passion for everything they do. We all have to do things that we don’t like doing. That’s part of living in the real world. But we gotta have passion for something or we’re sunk. My passion […]
The B Word in Dementialand
Burden. It means hardship, mental weight, or strain. It’s a word caregivers at dementia support groups dance around awkwardly. Caregivers vent. They talk about their lack of privacy or their dearth of support. They discuss their frustrations and challenges. They say they have no time to care for their own health or spend with friends. […]
Before and After in Dementialand (Or Why I Watch TLC and HGTV)
I was talking to some friends a few weeks back, and the TV show My 600-Pound Life on TLC came up in conversation. It’s a reality show about super-obese individuals who get weight loss surgery and attempt to change their lives for the better. For some reason, I was hesitant to admit to my friends that […]
Limitations in Dementialand (and Comments on Why I Am Not a Nashville Recording Artist)
When I was growing up, my parents told me I could be whatever I wanted to be. I could do whatever I wanted to do. They said that the sky was the limit. I should aim high and I could accomplish anything in the entire world. MY PARENTS WERE LIARS. I cannot accomplish anything in […]
Changing the Environment in Dementialand (and How I Broke One of My Worst Habits Ever)
Recently I realized I had developed a really bad habit. Not just bad but dangerous. I had started glancing at my phone while driving. I’d hear it buzz and couldn’t resist taking a look to see who had sent me a text or email. I wasn’t that person driving in traffic with my phone in […]
But When Are You Supposed to Grieve in Dementialand?
I gave a presentation for dementia family caregivers at a memory care community last fall. A middle-aged woman in the front row did not seem impressed with me at all. She almost scowled at me when we did make eye contact, but for most of my presentation she stared at the wall above my head. […]
Home in Dementialand
I had just visited an innovative memory care community for the first time. I was impressed with what it had to offer residents in terms of exposure to nature, community connections, and activities. The staff had to complete continuing education in the area of dementia care. The building was well-designed, bright, and clean. And, maybe […]
Pain in Dementialand (aka What Kidney Stones Taught Me)
The amount of pain experienced by those in end-stage dementia terrifies me. We know that at the end of life people with dementia receive only a fraction of the pain control medications of that those without dementia receive. Are they in less pain? Nope. We have no reason to think that dementia stops individuals from feeling pain. Dementia eventually stops people from communicating pain and understanding its cause, but research shows that pain-related brain activity is the same in people with and without dementia.
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