Dr. Eshbaugh’s Christmas Letter (aka Give Yourself a Break and Change Your Expectations)

Dear Friends, This is the closest thing to a Christmas letter I will write this year, and it is to those of you who live with dementia and those of you who are caregivers. First of all, it doesn’t matter to me what you celebrate. Hanukkah. (Obviously I don’t celebrate Hanukkah because I looked up how to spell it and it still doesn’t look quite … Continue reading Dr. Eshbaugh’s Christmas Letter (aka Give Yourself a Break and Change Your Expectations)

Following Up in Dementialand

Several months ago I wrote a blog post about why I dislike the movie, The Notebook. In short, I take issue with how it presents Alzheimer’s. On an unrelated note, I think it promotes stalking as romance. You can read all about it here: https://welcometodementialand.wordpress.com/2015/03/09/my-least-favorite-dementialand-movie/ I had no idea the Facebook messages and emails I would get after this post. Sure, some people agreed with me. Other people sent … Continue reading Following Up in Dementialand

Praying for the End in Dementialand

I was 23 when my grandpa passed away. He had a lot of chronic health conditions, including diabetes, and he’d recently had a leg amputated. The last time I saw him in person, he kept calling the guy I was dating at the time “Steve” (although his name was not Steve) and he was very grateful to “Steve” for helping him figure out the remote control … Continue reading Praying for the End in Dementialand

Passion in Dementialand (A Post About What Gets Us Excited)

A little passion goes a long way. I’m not talking about relationships here. I’m talking about life. No one has passion for everything they do. We all have to do things that we don’t like doing. That’s part of living in the real world. But we gotta have passion for something or we’re sunk. My passion is dementia. I don’t like dementia itself. In fact, I … Continue reading Passion in Dementialand (A Post About What Gets Us Excited)

The B Word in Dementialand

Burden. It means hardship, mental weight, or strain. It’s a word caregivers at dementia support groups dance around awkwardly. Caregivers vent. They talk about their lack of privacy or their dearth of support. They discuss their frustrations and challenges. They say they have no time to care for their own health or spend with friends. Every once in while, someone cries. But then it usually … Continue reading The B Word in Dementialand

Before and After in Dementialand (Or Why I Watch TLC and HGTV)

I was talking to some friends a few weeks back, and the TV show My 600-Pound Life on TLC came up in conversation. It’s a reality show about super-obese individuals who get weight loss surgery and attempt to change their lives for the better. For some reason, I was hesitant to admit to my friends that I watch the show. I wanted to say I had … Continue reading Before and After in Dementialand (Or Why I Watch TLC and HGTV)

Limitations in Dementialand (and Comments on Why I Am Not a Nashville Recording Artist)

When I was growing up, my parents told me I could be whatever I wanted to be. I could do whatever I wanted to do. They said that the sky was the limit. I should aim high and I could accomplish anything in the entire world. MY PARENTS WERE LIARS. I cannot accomplish anything in the entire world. For instance, I’d love to tour and … Continue reading Limitations in Dementialand (and Comments on Why I Am Not a Nashville Recording Artist)

Changing the Environment in Dementialand (and How I Broke One of My Worst Habits Ever)

Recently I realized I had developed a really bad habit. Not just bad but dangerous. I had started glancing at my phone while driving. I’d hear it buzz and couldn’t resist taking a look to see who had sent me a text or email. I wasn’t that person driving in traffic with my phone in my hand, but I wasn’t proud that I couldn’t drive … Continue reading Changing the Environment in Dementialand (and How I Broke One of My Worst Habits Ever)

But When Are You Supposed to Grieve in Dementialand?

I gave a presentation for dementia family caregivers at a memory care community last fall. A middle-aged woman in the front row did not seem impressed with me at all. She almost scowled at me when we did make eye contact, but for most of my presentation she stared at the wall above my head. I wondered if I had said something to offend her. … Continue reading But When Are You Supposed to Grieve in Dementialand?

Home in Dementialand

I had just visited an innovative memory care community for the first time. I was impressed with what it had to offer residents in terms of exposure to nature, community connections, and activities. The staff had to complete continuing education in the area of dementia care. The building was well-designed, bright, and clean. And, maybe most importantly (in book, anyway), the food was prepared by … Continue reading Home in Dementialand